By Stephen Whitley
http://stream.publicbroadcasting.net/production/mp3/kera/local-kera-889159.mp3
Dallas, TX –
INTRO: The unemployment rate in Texas continues to be well below the national average. But that's little comfort when you find yourself among the jobless. More from commentator Stephen Whitley.
You don't really think it will happen to you, even though it's happening all around you. Somehow you don't want to believe that your number could be up, that despite the temporariness of work these days, especially the job I had, the layoff letter thanking you for your service but telling you those services are no longer required would be pushed across a desk by a manager who seemed just as confused as you were. On January 14, I found out the temporary job I had with the federal government that lasted for almost four years would end on January 29.
I have been laid off twice before from other companies. Once when I was in college I worked for a small bank in San Marcos that spent $600,000 on consultants who came into the bank to find ways to improve efficiency, one of which was to lay off two part time employees who, together, maybe made $15,000 per year (I always marveled at the logic of that business decision). While that was a big blow to my psyche, I was in school at the time and essentially living off my parents so it was only devastating for a short time. The second time I was laid off was in 2002 from American Airlines. I was also in school then, working on my Master's in English at SMU and was only working part time at American, so between the monthly stipend which was part of my scholarship at SMU and unemployment I was able to manage pretty well financially. In some ways though, this most recent layoff was more devastating. I think it was so surprising partly because my production numbers were so high. I also think because this job was the highest paying job I have had in my professional career made the loss seem greater. But those thoughts are not constructive and really don't matter at this point.
I allowed myself one weekend to wallow in my sadness, to feel sorry for myself and to be depressed. The next Monday I decided that, quite frankly I had been unhappy where I was working for some time so maybe this was the push that I needed to finally move forward. While I loved the work, helping disaster victims with loans to help them rebuild their homes and lives, I was frustrated that there was little room for advancement at that agency unless I was an attorney. I had already been sending out resumes and query letters for writing projects I wanted to do. I finally sent off the application to law school I had been sitting on for a month or so. I decided to get head shots done and record a demo tape for voiceover work. For me, getting into action, doing something every day like sending out a resume, contacting friends who might know of job openings, even updating my blog and taking volunteer work, anything to feel like I am moving forward has helped with the fear that, at times, can be overwhelming.
In England they call being laid off "being made redundant." That expresses my feelings at times during the last two weeks. In some ways I feel as though everything I brought to the job the last four years meant nothing, that I was superfluous and no longer necessary. I know that's not necessarily true, but the feelings are there nonetheless.
Every other time I have been laid off my life actually turned out better than it was before, new avenues opened up, new opportunities presented themselves. While it's tough in the short term, I firmly believe that it will be the case with this layoff. Everything will be okay.
Stephen Whitley is a writer from Dallas.