By Rawlins Gilliland, KERA 90.1 commentator
Dallas, TX – Recently, I read a local newspaper society column, where he explained to the relieved readership that the rumors about Sandy Koufax being gay were not true - and furthermore, how could anyone have thought so in the first place since Mr. Koufax has, among other things, "lived with a woman for years." This "journalist" apparently did not see "Far From Heaven." To presume to validate a man's heterosexuality simply because he is married and/or has children is just about as dumb as assuming men who remain single are gay. That line of thinking is as "dated" as - well, society columns.
I am not interested in whether Sandy Koufax is gay or straight - and neither I would think would anyone else be, unless of course, they were hoping to sleep with him. Anyone who thinks that they could be likely candidates to couple with Ricky Martin, Tom Cruise, or Derek Jeter, heterosexual or homosexual, is more delusional than Michael Jackson. So, why the preoccupation with whom and in what form celebrities are having sex? My guess is that people who are concerned about the sex lives of others are likely to be sex-starved themselves. Or living their own lie instead of their own lives.
Almost as tiresome is the recent glut of aging stars suddenly celebrated as brave societal icons once they finally "confess." Like Elton John at 50, or 80 years old for Liz Smith, or 90 something for architect Phillip Johnson. But timing can be critical. My friend Macile watched the Rosie O'Donnell Show religiously until Rosie's televised confession, a "secret" about as much as Pam Anderson's breast implants. Conversely, no one grew up knowing that Rock Hudson, Tab Hunter and Troy Donahue were gay. Career imperatives demanded that their personal prisons keep everyone else's sacrosanct illusions intact.
African Americans may be understandably off-put when the gay activists compare being homosexual to being Black. They justifiably point out that gays can "hide" whereas anyone will know that they are Black and an open target for bigots. But everyone knew that Jackie Robinson and Sidney Poitier were inspiring men of color. Fear of being revealed and reviled makes certain that gay closeted legends only inspire misleading myths. I'd like to think that, had we been privy to the whole truth 50 years ago, we'd all snore in 2003 rather than snicker at the first sniff of a homo-hunt in Hollywood, the gridiron, the fox hole, or the Dodger dugout - or family reunions.
A Human Resource EVP once told me that she "was 30 years old before" she "met a gay person." "If that's true," I said, "you must have been flash frozen at puberty and thawed out 18 years later." Such ironic ignorance is the legacy of the sexual smoke and mirrors shell game. The "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" protocol paves the way for mindless speculation; where people who can't even name what team Sandy Koufax played for in his baseball career waste good newspaper print wondering what "team" he plays on in his private life.
Rawlins Gilliland is a writer from Dallas.