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Commentary: Holiday Conflict

By Chris Tucker, KERA Commentator

http://stream.publicbroadcasting.net/production/mp3/kera/local-kera-659878.mp3

Dallas. TX – It's no secret that America changed after September 11, 2001. The major issues that now dominate our political landscape -border security, surveillance, interrogation techniques - barely registered before that day. It's a confusing time that's left many of us uncertain as to the best course to follow in this dangerous new world. The "red state/blue state" split is only one crude measure of a division that goes much deeper.

And for many of us, these conflicts seem all the more unfortunate during the holidays, that time of togetherness and harmony when, as the old song says, "those who are dear to us/draw near to us once more." This year, I find myself thinking of the people I've become estranged from as we took different political roads over the past few years.

My relationships with at least three relatives and a handful of friends have suffered because of these disagreements. I'll still see some of them over the holidays, but I can't say I'm looking forward to it as I once did, and they probably feel the same way. Because of post-9-11 politics, the war and what someone called "the war over the war," we've lost the easy familiarity that came of shared opinions and beliefs. At one time we knew without having to prove it that certain policies were inherently good and right, even if they didn't always work. We knew certain politicians were simply ridiculous, even if they happened to be president.

Now those unspoken agreements have vanished. Hurtful words have been exchanged along with gifts; we now avoid certain topics and usually tiptoe around the mine-field of politics.

This has come as a sad surprise to me, though perhaps it shouldn't have. In college, I studied the McCarthy era and the bitter feuds over Communism that divided former friends and associates, but I never quite understood how people could spend decades arguing over Alger Hiss and Whittaker Chambers and which one was telling the truth.

Now, alas, I get it. Fifty years ago they had "Who Lost China" and those 57 or 205 communists infesting the State Department; we have "Mission Accomplished," "slam dunk," "Guantanamo," and other loaded phrases that will haunt many a future holiday.

I suppose the hard-core true believer in a movement or cause doesn't mind losing friends over it; if they can't see the light, he may think, let them go. But even if we could be sure that the politicians we support would really accomplish the goals they espouse which we can't, of course - we should be very slow to put ideology over friendship.

That's why E. M. Forster, in his great essay "What I Believe," said that if he were forced to choose between betraying his friend and betraying his country, he hoped he would have the guts to betray his country.

How strange that politicians most of us will never meet unless we live in Iowa and policies that may baffle the brightest historians should pull us apart from those we know and love. How sad that friendship should be based even partly on political conformity. It's enough almost to make you envy the apathetic.

Chris Tucker is a Dallas-based writer and literary consultant.

If you have opinions or rebuttals about this commentary, call (214) 740-9338 or email us.