By Rawlins Gilliland, KERA 90.1 Commentator
http://stream.publicbroadcasting.net/production/mp3/kera/local-kera-499923.mp3
Dallas, TX –
I was fascinated recently when televangelist Pat Robertson explained to his video flock how Israeli leader Ariel Sharon's stroke and coma was the Almighty's retribution for "dividing God's land," meaning Sharon's Palestinian return of Gaza. This followed Billy Graham's son Franklin, equating the Katrina wipe out of New Orleans with the Big Easy's pandering to fleshy vice. (Why it took God 300 years to demolish New Orleans was never mentioned, but the operative implication appears; better late than never?)
If Robertson and Graham's premise is true, gee: So many disasters, too little blame!
Why not cast our philosophical nets with Biblical implications over other sundry scenarios.
Who cannot wonder how Florida went from an historical average of one direct hit hurricane every seven years to being savaged sevn times in less than ONE year? Using Franklin Graham's model, cannot Al Gore attribute this to recompense against the President's brother, who was central to the hanging chad charades? Can Robert Kennedy, Jr. claim that Tom DeLay being flushed away in a sea of subpoenas is God's curse after DeLay fought to drill in Anwar? Cannot Ralph Nadar exhort God's vengeance when Libby resigned or Ambramoff squealed?
No misfortune should be left unpunished. A friend had breast cancer. Her holistic therapist insisted that she had "invited the malignancy into (her) life" by ignoring antioxidant news regarding Vitamin E. Shortly thereafter we buried this aerobic acrobat life coach, who reputedly took enough supplements to fill a GNC mall cart. Did God punish her, as one charmer suggested, because she bought a Hummer and wrote it off? Or did she die because she practiced what she preached?
Listening to Pat, one senses even pop culture is subject to God's scrutiny. Is Brad Pitt's career doomed after heaven reviews his last film, "Troy?" If Christ punished unfortunate Hollywood choices, how can one explain Angelina Jolie ending the year with Brad (hardly Satan's curse)following HER playing mother to Collin Farrell in "Alexander?" Anyway...
Any award show, the person most often thanked is God or Jesus. Does this mean that when LL Kool J won over Eminem, God cast the deciding votes? Who knew that the Messiah for 80 percent of the USA plays favorites in the Rap categories at the MTV awards? We need Pat Robertson's skilled analysis to sort through such compelling paradox.
Televangelists suggest that sending money will bring benefactors financial bonanzas. My neighbors agree. After mailing Pat a check, she won a set of tires at a rodeo raffle. Her husband feels their fortunes were already sealed after giving a DVD of "Passion of the Christ" to our mailman. Frightening to think what might have happened if instead they had chosen "Harry Potter." Mr. Robertson warns that this series is suspect.
Maybe, like Tom Cruise, Pat Robertson needs, at least in PR terms, to be "Born Again"...again. He reminds us that devout belief can bounce like bogus currency when one's fundamentalism couples with superstition and probable budding dementia. Perhaps the "700 Club" should be up against the "Daily Show" for best comedy news coverage. But then, if Pat loses to John Stewart, heaven help us!
Rawlins Gilliland is a writer from Dallas.
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