By Tom Dodge, KERA 90.1 commentator
http://stream.publicbroadcasting.net/production/mp3/kera/local-kera-471698.mp3
Commentary: Will Texas Go Kinky?
Dallas, TX –
Kinky Friedman, he of the Paladin gear, black Stetson, black long-rider coat and boots, mustache, and cigar as big and powerful as his ego, is running for governor of Texas. He's running as an independent, "the first since Sam Houston," he told me a few weeks ago. And he's serious, unlike last time, even though Texas politics is something like a circus anyway, he said. At least, "with the Kinkster in the race," he added, "it'll be a circus with a purpose." And that purpose, he maintains, is democracy.
Meaning that Texas politicians have made it nearly impossible for an independent to run. An independent candidate has to get 50,000 signatures in order to get on the ballot. And if this isn't enough of an obstacle, these must be from people who haven't voted in either the Republican or Democratic primary. "The Republicans and Democrats have always had it just the way they want it," he said, "and they'll do anything to keep it that way. We're all happy there's democracy in Iraq, but we need it in Texas too."
He'll be appearing in Midlothian on May 21st, and if I know Kinky he'll not only be campaigning but also autographing books. He has fifteen satirical detective novels that are not only hard-boiled but were possibly left in the nest too long.
Before his literary days he made his name back in the 1960's by satirizing country music. He and his band, "The Texas Jewboys," got infamous by performing such lowdown high-jinksical numbers as "They're Not Makin' Jews like Jesus Anymore" and "Ride 'Em Jewboy."
The one that earned him a big ol' heapin' bowl of feminist scorn back in 1974 was "Get Your Biscuits in the Oven and Your Buns in the Bed."
Kinky Friedman for Governor of Texas?
"Why the hell not?"
This is one of Kinky's bumper stickers for sale on his web site. Another is "How hard can it be?"
These are not subtle references, he said, to other celebrities who have become governors, like Jesse Ventura in Minnesota and Ronald Reagan and Arnold Schwarzenegger in California. Neither are they a comment, he assured me, on his friend, President George W. Bush, who is also said to be a fan.
If elected, Kinky says he will ask First Lady Laura Bush to head the Texas Peace Corps, which he intends to originate. He was a Peace Corpsman himself, in Borneo, in the 1960's, and believes it's just what Texas youth need to raise education levels in this state, which "is first in executions but 49th in public school funding," he said.
Willie Nelson will head the energy department in a Friedman administration and introduce bio-diesel as a non-polluting, low-cost fuel, which will also help farmers. Willie will multi-task, he said, as the High Sheriff Honcho of the Texas Rangers.
"In fact we're gonna have a lotta musicians in my administration," he said. "Only thing is, we might not get any work done during the morning." "Who else?" I said.
"Billy Joe Shaver's gonna be my Spiritual Advisor."
So his humor is still a major part of his campaign. But his issues are serious and now total more than the two he had in his losing race for judge in Kerrville in 1986. He seemed to have but two issues in that race: he promised to keep Kerrville out of war with Fredericksburg." And, as the only Jew in the race, he pledged to "lower the speed limit to 59.95."
Tom Dodge is a writer from Midlothian. If you have opinions or rebuttals about this commentary, call (214) 740-9338 or email us.
For more Texas government coverage, visit KERA's Voter's Voice page.