By Merrie Spaeth, KERA 90.1 commentator
Dallas, TX –
Did you see the headlines from a study done by a doctor at A&M?
"Abstinence education doesn't work."
Well, I'm a parent of teenagers. I've sat through the parent versions of both abstinence-only and comprehensive sex ed. Here in Texas, both approaches are way off base - no pun intended.
I'm a big believer in abstinence for teenagers, even if you don't tackle morality of the issue, or the emotional damage of separating commitment from sex, the explosion of STD's, sexually transmitted diseases, has been well documented. STD's damage physical health, threaten reproductive capabilities. And pregnancy is one of the top reasons girls drop out of school, according to the national campaign to prevent teen pregnancy.
Here in Texas, sex ed has become a political topic. One side says "you can only teach abstinence if you don't discuss contraception," while "comprehensive" sex ed has become what I call wink wink.
"Comprehensive" sex ed is totally compatible with "abstinence" - and there are good models for how to do it right. Dr. Mike Young at the University of Alabama has an abstinence program called "Sex Can Wait." It works because it gets the student to focus on success and happiness over a lifetime. Elayne Bennett's "Best Friends" approach, now in 11 cities, has shown astonishing success: a 1% pregnancy rate in her programs in Washington D.C. middle schools versus a 26% pregnancy rate among girls not in the program; 4% of participants in best friends programs were sexually active by age 15 versus 63% of their peer group. Those are big differences.
"Best Friends" is also an ongoing, long-term approach from 5th grade through graduation. They build peer groups, stress being physically fit, and look at sex within the greater context of character and life goals. They expect a lot of their girls, and they get it.
What you expect is terribly important. That's why I view traditional sex ed as the wink wink approach. The instructor says, "We don't think you should have sex, but if you do, wink wink, here's what you should know." The not too subtle message is that okay, we know you're going to do it, there's no "right" and "wrong," which leaves the teen subject to the incredible pressures of our culture.
Case in point: we just saw the movie "Wedding Date" with Debra Messing. It has a clear message that the way to have fun is to get drunk, and that beautiful and popular girls sleep with as many men as possible. What's needed in our schools is the long term approach and ongoing support provided by programs like "Sex Can Wait" and "Best Friends." There are other successful programs. One forms groups of girls who pledge to wait until marriage. The founder says it's important that inner city, minority girls think of themselves as marriage material. All these programs also link teenage sexual activity to alcohol and drugs - but I'll leave that for another day.
What the A&M study found wasn't that abstinence education doesn't work - it found that narrowly focused, boring, get-it-over-with approach isn't very successful. That shouldn't surprise anyone. Schools know that whether it's sports or drama, you need to work at it, provide reinforcement by kids' peers and provide constant reinforcement. The same is true for social behavior.
Merrie Spaeth is a communications consultant based in Dallas. If you have opinions or rebuttals about this commentary, call (214) 740-9338 or email us.