By Paula LaRocque, KERA 90.1 commentator
Dallas, TX – One of the worst features in workplace writing is its fuzzy imprecision, and one of the quickest routes to imprecision is through abstract nouns.
What are abstract nouns? They're words such as 'issue,' 'condition,' 'facility,' 'nature,' 'process,' 'basis,' and 'problem.' For example, instead of saying, "We're pondering the healthcare issue," we could say: "We're pondering healthcare." Instead of: "The clean-up at the nuclear facility will be a slow process," we could say: "The nuclear plant clean-up will be slow." Instead of: "He has severe health problems," we could say: "He's in poor health."
In other words, making the abstract concrete clarifies the message.
The abstraction flourishes everywhere, but it's a particular problem in specialized fields - business, science, medicine, education, and so forth. It's as though we offer ourselves more latitude to write poorly when the subject is challenging. But that's the very time we must be at greater pains to clarify and simplify.
Take this passage from a business report:
"Financial exigencies made it necessary for the company to implement budgetary measures to minimize expenditures."
How would that sentence read if it were concrete instead of abstract?
"The company had to cut costs."
Abstract writing in the workplace is costly because it causes misunderstanding. When the message is obscured by verbal smog, the readers, don't, in fact, get the message. They don't read, or they misread, or they misunderstand. The wasted time and effort as well as mistakes and misunderstanding make fuzzy writing an expensive habit.
Given its cost, what explains the appeal of bloated abstractions? Or should I ask, "What elucidates the proliferation of indecipherable terminology and superfluous syllables?" How does "he left his car and ran" become "the perpetrator exited his vehicle and fled on foot?" How does a banana become an "elongated yellow fruit?"
We could probably do a dissertation on the answers. But maybe in trying to sound learned, to elevate our diction, we instead merely inflate it.
Sometimes we slip into abstraction when we're trying to fudge, or to soften the message. But clarity doesn't mean brusque or blunt. In any case, abstract gobbledygook doesn't soften. Rather, it makes readers suspicious. They wonder what the truth is behind those slippery words. Concrete words seem more sincere and therefore soften best.
Trying to make the message more palatable by maintaining the language usually leads to euphemism. "That project lost money" becomes "that project had an adverse impact on anticipated revenue." Euphemisms don't work. We know that "collateral damage" means killing civilians. A Texas prison warden recently spoke not about rehabilitating human beings, but about "creating functional social units."
Whatever the reason, abstractions abound in workplace writing, and they damage the professional world's efforts to communicate clearly and warmly and well.
Paula La Rocque is a former writing coach and assistant managing editor for the Dallas Morning News. Her new book is "The Book on Writing: The Ultimate Guide To Writing Well." If you have opinions or rebuttals regarding this commentary, call 90.1's Listener Comment Line at (214) 740-9338 or email our website at kera.org.