River Elliott remembers growing up suppressing feelings or curiosities she had about her femininity.
“I think my life would have been way better if I had been able to transition as early as I started having those feelings,” she said.
Elliott transitioned five years ago and is the lead vocalist of the Dallas-based death metal band Ballista. For Elliott, music is a form of protest. The thunderous percussion, guttural vocals and distorted guitars on the band’s tracks are a reflection of Elliott’s anger and frustration toward transphobic people and, more recently, anti-LGBTQ bills passed by the Texas Legislature.
“One of the reasons why it’s important to me to be as loud and proud with my transness as possible is because I think it’s important to show the community that we don’t have to be scared of anyone,” Elliott said. “As much as it hurts and is disheartening to see the wave of transphobic legislation being pushed across the country, what they want is to, at the very least, push us down until they can’t see us anymore and erase us from the country entirely.”
Elliott began identifying as nonbinary years before she formed Ballista in 2017. She told guitarist Jonathan Bary that she wanted to start a band to talk about issues important to her, like sexual assault. A year later, Elliott came out as trans and began using music to fight for trans visibility.
“Not so much in the hardcore community we’re a part of, but in the heavy [metal] music community as a whole, there are some very vocal and very popular artists that talk down on and demonize the LGBT+ community, a lot of times focusing on trans people,” Elliott said.
Ballista is mainly composed of people of color, including bassist Zach Adams, drummer Robert Dominguez and guitarists Bary and Edward Oropeza. They represent how diverse hardcore and death metal genres, which were historically dominated by straight-identifying white men, have become now.
Elliott said most of Ballista’s lyrics follow traditional death metal music themes. Death metal has always been angry and violent; some of it is also political. Elliott also wanted to tackle issues such as racism and police brutality. After transitioning, she used Ballista as an outlet to speak about trans issues. Some of the band's tracks, such as “God’s Image (Hammer Me Into Shape)” from its 2022 album Ballista Territory, talk about gender dysmorphia and self image.
“I write a whole lot about being trans,” Elliott said. “I also have a bunch of lyrics about my own personal mental health.”
Earlier this year, Elliot was inspired to write songs speaking out against transphobia after experiencing online bullying on X, formerly known as Twitter. She poured her anger into Trans Day of Violence, the band’s upcoming EP.
Trans Day of Violence is a play on Trans Day of Visibility and a reference to the 2016 EP Trans Day of Revenge by trans-feminist hardcore punk band G.L.O.S.S. Released a day after the Orlando nightclub shooting, the album criticizes pacifist ideologies toward state violence, transphobia and “respectability politics,” which believes that marginalized communities should adopt the dominant group’s values and norms to receive respect. Elliott said she wanted to reference G.L.O.S.S. in some way because of their EP’s impact on trans and hardcore communities.
“I didn’t know of any gender nonconforming or trans bands, and it was really cool to see that even before I realized I was trans,” Elliott said.
Two songs from Ballista’s upcoming album were released in April. The track titled “Target Practice,” featuring San Antonio-based death metal band Sanity Slip, is a song about violence against trans-exclusionary radical feminists. In one line, you hear Elliot growl lyrics such as, “No terfs on my turf” and “Tell me I don’t exist when your nose meets my iron fist” over distorted guitars. It’s angry, provocative and shocking, and that’s the point.
Elliott said one of the EP’s themes is “killing transphobes,” but it’s not meant to be taken literally. Instead, the lyrics are meant to challenge listeners and think about why a transgender person like Elliott feels the way she does.
“It’s OK for trans people to be angry at the way we’re treated by society and especially the conservative parts of society,” Elliott said. “If, through my angry, reactionary, death metal lyrics someone, an ally or otherwise, can get a new perspective of how transphobia makes us feel, I think that would be great.”
Ballista’s five-track EP will also include the released track “The Game” and will be out in December. The band’s next show is Nov. 17 at Rubber Gloves Rehearsal Studio in Denton.
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