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Commentary: Striking balance between having fun and winning not always easy

By Chris Tucker, KERA 90.1 commentator

Dallas, TX –

Our team of 11 and 12-year-old girls play in what's called a recreational league. Everyone makes a team, everyone plays in every game, and even those who aren't playing in the field get to bat when their turn comes up.

But even in a league where cutthroat competition isn't the main point, it's hard to maintain a happy, kid-friendly medium between just having fun and striving to win. Many coaches send mixed signals to their teams. This year, I think I was guilty of that myself.

At the beginning of the season, as always, we told the girls we had three goals: have fun, get better, and win some games. How many games, we didn't know; we had finished in first place the season before, but this time we lost four good players - including our only two pitchers.

The other coaches and I knew we could be in for some rough times - but we didn't know just how rough.

Halfway through the season we still hadn't won a game, and some of the losses were double-digit blowouts. So we began to press the kids harder at practice. I mean, sure, let's have fun - but why'd you ground out with the bases loaded? Can't you have fun while striking out the next couple of batters?

Soon the blowouts ceased, but we were still losing by a run here, two runs there. I knew I was taking it all too seriously when I woke up one morning at 3 a.m., reshuffling the lineup, debating whether to move the 7th place hitter to the 5th, the leadoff hitter to 3rd, and so on.

On one level I knew this was ridiculous - who did I think I was, Joe Torre? - but I wanted them to win. For themselves, for the other coaches, and yes, for me. I didn't want them to remember this as the season we didn't win a single game.

Well, just like in the movies, it came down to the last game. We had the lead, we lost it, we got it back, and we were one run ahead as the other team batted for the last time. Our pitcher, despite having spent the entire day at Hurricane Harbor, was having her best game, and all of a sudden we were down to the last out with a runner on base.

She had two balls and two strikes on the hitter, then three balls and two strikes.

One more strike and the game would be over. We would have our win. I'd never heard the kids so excited, so involved in the game. Even the girls who weren't playing had stopped talking about music and vacations. They were jumping up and down in the dugout, certain that this was our moment.

But - ball four. The batter walked. And up came one of the other team's best hitters. She dug in like a pro, whipped the bat back and forth, took one pitch, then blasted the second one into right field, way over the outfielder's head. The second baseman ran out to take the throw, just as we had taught them to do, but it was too late.

In the standings then, we were losers. But at the risk of sounding corny, those kids showed more character in some ways than the winners we'd had in the past. They played as a team. They never criticized or blamed each other for the mistakes that led to losses. And they never quit trying.

And as far as I can tell, nobody was permanently scarred by our losing season. At the team pool party a few days later, they were gobbling cake and pouring water on their coaches like nothing had ever happened.

So I'm taking a lesson from the kids. If you know you did your best, what more can you do? It's time to let it go.

Well, at least until March - maybe spring break. Then I thought we could get the pitchers and catchers together fir a little early workout. You know, maybe get a head start on the season.

Anyway, just wait 'til next year.

 

Chris Tucker us a writer from Dallas and a contributing editor of American Way magazine. If you have opinions or questions about this commentary, call (214) 740-9338 or email us.