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Kids and Sex - A Commentary

By Merrie Spaeth, KERA 90.1 commentator

Dallas, TX – Just when you think you've heard it all. Our listeners have probably heard about the controversy over a book just published by the University of Minnesota Press. It's called "Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children From Sex," by Judith Levine, who is described in press reports as a respected writer. Attention focuses on Levine's endorsement and advocacy of a Dutch law, which essentially erases the boundaries between adults and teenagers. The Dutch apparently permit adults to have sex with kids as young as twelve if - and here's what's ridiculous - the younger person consents.

I want to address my comments to that specific piece of the book and also to the publisher's complaint that this is a 300 page book and people are paying attention only to four pages.

Let's start with the Dutch law. Sex is OK with a 12 year old - 'if they consent'???? That's like saying it would be fine if I jumped off a roof ... if I could fly. By definition, a young teen - we currently define it as under 18 - isn't capable of consent. Oh yes, they think they are. They think they are quite mature. It's our job as parents and adults to protect them, even if they don't want to be protected and even if they get angry at us for doing it.

Why? Well, the consequences are very severe. Besides the morality, besides the risk of pregnancy, besides the risk of disease - can you imagine a 14 year-old girl saying to her older lover, "Have you been tested for sexually-transmitted diseases? Show me the report before I'll have sex." Besides these issues, researchers feel that this early sex is inherently exploitative. It causes later problems ranging from self-esteem, to inability to form relationships.

Is there ever an 18 year old who is mature enough to have sex with an older man? Of course, but there are a lot fewer than 18 year olds think.

This is about setting boundaries and why it's important. Without these boundaries, kids, primarily girls, as young as 12, will be fair game. People who are appalled by this book, and I include myself, are concerned that this is another attempt to push the 'if it feels good, do it,' the 'any time anywhere' agenda.

Now, to the publisher - if you can't figure out what the problem is with this book, you need help. The other 296 pages may - may - be wonderful but these four pages, endorsing the absurd concept that 12 year olds can consent, calls the whole thing into question. Do we say, "Well, Mrs. Lincoln, other than the shooting, how did you like the play?" Those four pages are so radioactive and so wildly off base that they make normal Americans - and certainly those of us with kids - wonder what the author was thinking ... or smoking.

Let's hear it for common sense and standards.

Merrie Spaeth is a communications consultant in Dallas.