By Jennifer Nagorka, KERA 90.1 Commentator
Dallas, TX – A colleague and I stood at the receptionist's desk. The property managers were evacuating the building because we sit across the street from a federal courthouse and a federal office building.
"They did it," I said."They did it," she agreed. "They shut the country down."
Our non-profit's board of directors had been having an 8 a.m. meeting when we learned the news - a hijacked plane had crashed into the World Trade Center in New York City.
I pictured a tiny two-seater crashing into the side of the mammoth skyscraper. Then we turned on TV. It was worse, so much worse, than a rational mind could have imagined. The World Trade Center towers burning and collapsing, suddenly erased from the Manhattan skyline; the Pentagon on fire; the FAA grounding all domestic flights; Air Force One, with our president on board, flying through the increasingly empty U.S. airspace.
We don't know, of course, who is to blame for the attacks. The most prevalent rumor was religious zealots who hate the United States.
I can't come to terms with that idea. I can't because I cannot imagine a God that could ever love such an act. What God would view this destruction and slaughter as an act of worship, of devotion, of righteousness? Not the God of Christians, not the God of Jews, and not Allah, the God of Islam, praised for His kindness and mercy.
It was a relief to go home, even though it was a concession to the terrorists. A roofer was supposed to come by and talk to my husband and me at noon. I thought about canceling the appointment, because my husband works in a building that had been sealed off and he couldn't leave. Besides, how could I do something so banal as look at shingles?
On the other hand, how could I not? If every bit of normal daily life stops, then the terrorists really will have won. So I talked to the roofer and wished I could have done something useful for the people who are suffering. But all there was to do was wait and watch the press conferences.
Our president vowed in a press conference to bring the attackers to justice. No doubt, he will. But we should prepare ourselves for something less satisfying than "justice." That is the reality in any murder trial; that is the reality when civilization collides with barbarism as it did Tuesday. No punishment can replace the lives lost. The only consolation comes from knowing that we are not barbarians; we would not do this to someone else.
It's not that we shouldn't pursue the terrorists. We should. We should also improve our human intelligence gathering so we can detect the plans of those whose beliefs are irrational. But most important, we should resolve to become better Americans - more unified, more compassionate, more resolute, more just. If we are going to be attacked as a symbol, then let us live all the ideals that are worth dying for. With those ideals as armor, we can absorb this blow and remain unbowed.
Jennifer Nagorka is a freelance writer in Dallas.
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